Remember the Song Playing When You Died?
by WickerandStone
Summary: All Emily wants do is forget, but the music isn't letting her. Strange things start to happen and she is forced upon a mysterious boy, but when she wants the truth, her world will change forever. Be careful of what you ask for.
1. Chapter 1

I'm trying something new. Its not Maximum Ride orientated. Its really kind of about the love I have for music, and I really tried to make it one of the big parts in this. All the songs in this are amazing and are important to the moment when they play so check them out :) This is Chapt 1 to **Remember the Song Playing When you Died?**

I can remember the song playing, when it happened. I can remember his warm hard hand wrapped around mine. His eyes set on my smile intently like always. I remember not looking ahead for a second... just a second, I feel the cold glass against my cheek and then I can't see him in the sharp lights. The loud bellowing honk and a scream, my scream. The shrill of shrieking wheels and the metallic squeal of iron crashing into iron. I remember his hand disappearing from mine and the warmth replaced by a cold so deep that it froze me to the bone. The sound of hollering sirens that became louder and louder and me thinking of how annoying that sound is and how it could wake a neighborhood. The carcass of a twisted piece of car on fire. But most of all I remember them saying he was gone. No he's not, I muttered. Not out loud, somewhere in my mind. I still hear the song playing. _Matching Weight_ by _Trespassers William_.

The smell of antiseptic burns at my nose. I have my back against the wall, watching them scurry around his body. IV drips running from him like streams, sucking away life rather then giving it. I only suffered minor injuries, bruised ribs, a broken arm and a concussion. I don't mind it, except for the concussion. I can't go to sleep, but I want to. I want to go to sleep so badly and never wake up again. They think he has internal bleeding and severe head trauma and maybe a few broken bones. They said he curled around me during impact. I hated him for that. He could be awake right now. They pushed his bed down the hall. Without thinking, I followed. Pushing through the doors. It hurt to move, my stomach protested and I winced at the surprising pain. I felt a steely hand wrap around my arm.

"You can't go through ma'am. You need to come for stitching" said a gray-haired nurse with wrinkles running across her face like fractures.

"Stitching?" I muttered. She pointed at my shirt.

There was a long red line running across my stomach. She pulled me along, asking for my name. I didn't answer her questions. Instead I put a thick wall up and let my body go numb. While I lied on a white bed, a doctor came and pulled a needle through me. He worked with cold, gentle fingers. I couldn't feel anything, nor could I hear what he was saying. I kept seeing his face, Lucas's face. His warm brown eyes, tanned skin and blondish hair. His white teeth set in a smile. His lips moving to a song. Something got caught in my throat and I could feel my eyes start to sting. I didn't cry though because he would be okay, he had to be. I put my shirt back on and walked back to the waiting room. The nurse said that there's a room for me but I told her that the waiting room is fine. I decided to sit next to the table with the magazines. They were all out dated and about decorating your house. I didn't know anyone who could stand reading feng-shui while their loved-one was busy dying in another room. I pulled my knees in close to my body and tucked my head in. A warm hand grazed the back of my neck and I looked up. A broad shouldered boy was hovering above me, his eyes filled with concern and sadness; a grimace replaced his usual lop-sided grin. It was Kellan, I recognized him by his teal eyes and darkish hair. How could I not, he was like a brother to me. He fell into the seat next to me and pulled me into his side. I laid my head on his hard shoulder.

"What happened to your shirt?" he asked, his voice deep but shaky.

I didn't answer; instead I burrowed my head into the crook of his arm. He smelled of peppermint and washing detergent. After an hour or so he stood up and left me there. I pulled my knees in again and rolled myself into a ball. After about five minutes Kellan walked back into the waiting room with a white t-shirt in his hands. He took my hand and led me to the bathroom so I could get changed. When I wouldn't move, he pulled my shirt over my head, without hesitation and swapped it with the white shirt. It was new and soft. A little too big though, it hung to my knees. He led me back outside and took me down a different hall. We stopped at a room, I couldn't remember the number.

"The nurse says you can sleep now" he muttered, closing the door behind him. I didn't answer; I just walked to the bed and fell onto it. I was dead weight. I heard him sigh and a squeak of the couch as he sat down on it.

"Your parents and…Luke's parents are on their way" he said. I didn't respond to that either. I could hear the couch squeal as he pulled it closer to my bed.

"Where's your head, Em?" he whispered in my ear. "Please, tell me what's going on in that head?" he pleaded to himself softly.

"Everything" I murmured, not to him though. To everyone.

"Everything what?" he asked, quietly but hopeful.

"Everything's falling apart" I answered and tucked my head into the pillow so he won't ask any more questions. Kellan stayed quiet for the rest of the time, only smoothing my hair once and a while. I drifted off, not asleep exactly but unconscious. It was a weird feeling, I wasn't asleep but it felt like I was. The door clicked open but I didn't open my eyes to see why.

"How is she?" it was my father's deep tenor voice.

"I don't know, she hasn't moved. She hasn't said a word" said a broken voice. My mom. I opened my eyes then. For hope and faith, but not for me. There was none of that for me. I did it for my parents. It caught my mother's eye and she looked at me like it's the first time.

"Are you okay? How are you feeling? Should I get the nurse? Get the nurse, Dave!" she blurted.

"Shh, mom. I'm okay" I muttered, rubbing my eyes. Her bony warm hands clasped around my cheeks and she kissed my face. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, squeezing me hard.

"I was so worried!" she said, her voice breaking. I didn't embrace her back, I stayed like a dead weight in her arms.

"How's Luke?" I asked, pulling away from her so I could see her eyes. Her eyes deadened, making my stomach twist.

"He's in surgery but there isn't a lot they can do for him, Emily" she said, almost in a whisper. Over the years as Lucas became my boyfriend, my parents treated him as their own son. I could see her eyes tighten at the words, she felt the pain I felt but mildly like red ashes. For me it was a raging fire, threatening to burn everything. In the words of _the_ _Stars_, _If there is nothing left to burn, you must set yourself on fire. _

"What do you mean 'they can't do anything'? They can, they're doctors for god sakes!" I started to yell.

"Shh, dear. All we can do is wait now" my mom muttered, holding me. I pushed her away and stood up from the bed.

"Where's the operating room?" I asked, stepping away from her grasps.

"Emily, sit down, where do you think you're going?" my mom asked me, incredulous.

"Emily, sit down!" growled my father with a steely voice. But none of it affected me, none of it reached me. I was too far gone, emerged in the idea of saving Lucas and only saving him. Nothing else mattered. I stood up, ignoring the stabbing pain my stomach was under. My dad's hand wrapped around my wrist, a tight grip. I looked back at his fiery eyes.

"I love him" was all I said. I could feel his grip loosening then and soon it disappeared. I walked out and felt my feet hit the cold floor. Everything was blur after that. My mind kept flashing images in my mind. What if I was too late? And a picture of his dead blue corpse flashed in my mind. Soon I started to run, pushing past orderlies and doctors. All of them shot me worried glances but didn't stop me to help. They must've thought I was past help, I probably was. When I saw a doctor I recognized, I ran to him full speed. I grabbed on to his shoulders, looking at him in the eyes. His green eyes were looking into mine with a cautious glare. It didn't bother me.

"Luke Sebastian Burke?" Was all I could choke out. The doctor gave me a long frightened look. His one bony finger pointed down the hall. I raced there, almost knocking over another doctor. She shouted several profanities at me but I didn't turn to apologize. I couldn't care less. I turned down hall and then another but I couldn't find the room. My stomach started to turn, rolling uncomfortably in me. My mouth ran dry and I began to wheeze. I saw a room at the end of the hall and I bolted for the door. I pushed the door aside and stepped into a large observatory. Nobody was inside it. I looked past the glass windows at a team of surgeons working around a body. I could see its one long muscled arm, gold from the sun. Its blondish hair sticking out from a cap. My heart quickened, pounding hard in my chest. It felt like it was trying to escape and run to him. I blurted out his name but nobody could hear me.

"Luke" I muttered, feeling my eyes start to sting. There was an annoying beeping going on, blaring in my head. The doctors started to scramble around him, pumping things into his veins, pushing their hands into his stomach. I looked over to the machine blaring this sound. It was his heart monitor.

"Luke!" I yelled at the glass, the shriek sounded almost animalistic, not human at all. That's when the beep stopped, haltered and let out a long continuous sound.

"He's gone" I heard one of the surgeons say.

"No, his not" I muttered, feeling de ja vu. I fell to my knees and onto my side. Nothing seemed to make sense after that. Like slow motion. I could feel the tears run over my cheeks, leaving warm trails behind them. I didn't make a sound or scrunch up my face. The tears just fell, like a tap left on. Georgia called it _beautiful crying, _there is nothing beautiful about this. My mind kept repeating his name. I wanted to fall asleep there and then. Fall asleep and never wake up again. I just wanted to see him again and his smile. I blacked out, still knowing that I'll wake up from my dream and into this nightmare.


	2. Chapter 2

This is Chapter 2 of **Remember the Song Playing When you Died? **I'm planning something really big for the story, so check out the soon-to-be-released 3rd Chapter.

I stared at the pink puckered line with a scab, running across my belly. It is starting to turn more tanned and less noticeable, fading into my skin. I wish the rest of my wounds could heal as fast as this one, but they're still open and they're tearing me apart. There was a quick rap on my door.

"Come in" I said, pulling down my grey sweatshirt. It was Kellan; he was dressed in black with a grimace on his face.

"You're not dressed yet" he mused, coming over to sit on the corner of my bed.

"That's because I'm not going" I muttered, looking down at my stomach. He sighed, an unusual sound coming from Kellan. He scooted a little closer and draped his arm over my hunched bony shoulders.

"I know he would have hated this, he never wanted a funeral. He rather wanted us to put his demo CD on full blast and drive through Hastings's Parish" he said, smiling at the thought. My heart ached and another wound opened up a little more.

"But, we've still gotta' do this, Em. If not for him, at least for his parents. He was my best friend, I… have to do this" he said, his voice dead but certain.

I wanted to shake my head and pull my bed covers over my head, but he was right. I had to do this, at least for his parents. I felt like this would make it the final goodbye though. When I go, that will be it, the last time I would be near him. That's probably the reason why I hadn't gone to see his family or his open casket ceremony either. I was afraid when I see him that it would be finished, and I would never see him again.

"The final goodbye" I tried out the words. Kellan gave me a blank stare.

"It will never be final" he muttered.

"He's dead, Kellan. That's as final as it gets" I muttered, catching a stray tear. He hugged me close. I could feel his sharp intake of breathe, trying to not cry. I patted his arm.

"It's okay if you want to cry, Kellan" I said. He murmured an unintelligible response. I could feel warm wet tears slip through my hair and his breathing become sharper and shallower but he was dead silent.

I dressed in a black summer dress and ran a brush through my wavy bronze hair. Even though I was coolly dressed, the heat from the sun clung onto me, seeming to drag me back. I felt sorry for Kellan who had to wear a hot black suit. We walked outside and I climbed into his dusty yellow Ford van. We use to take road trips in this old van, taking it up to the mountains during autumn. The brown leather seats smelled of cigarette smoke and incense.

"You're car smells way dodgy" echoed a voice in my head. It was Lucas's. He said that, the first time Kellan took us for a spin in the van. I could hear the smile in his voice. I swallowed the tears away. Kellan climbed in and started the car. He turned the radio on but I quickly turned it off. He gave me a long look.

"Em-" he began.

"It reminds me too much of him" I said, my eyes looking straight out of the window. He reached for the radio and turned it on anyway.

"We're supposed to remember him" he muttered to himself. I sighed, hearing the calm music drift into me. My heart started to pound, ripping at the wounds that were already open. I tried to swallow the tears but some seemed to escape. I caught them quickly and stared out of the window with a scowl. _Roslyn_ by _Bon Iver _was playing on the radio. I use to love this song.

I reached for the radio but instead of turning it off, I twisted the volume dial up.

"I missed this song" I muttered. Kellan nodded in silent agreement. We pulled up at Hastings's Cemetery, a small grove with about a hundred graves, pact together next to an old white church. I reluctantly climbed out of the van but Kellan was by my side soon, holding me up with his arm. His face was straight and hard, portraying nothing and hiding everything. We walked up a stone path, bumpy and uncomfortable under my ballet flats. When we cleared the hill, we could see a small gathering of people, all matching in the same black. I choked a little and Kellan's hand tightened around my waist. We walked over slowly. I spoke with his parents and went over to stand by the grave site. Kellan walked over, his eyebrows lowered. Everybody gathered around and the Priest said a few words. His voice was low but shaky, reminding me of Kellan's voice after the crash.

A hard cold hand tightened around my heart. Lucas's brother, Jake, his father and a cousin lifted one side while the other side was lifted by Lucas's uncle, Brody –Lucas's godfather- and Kellan. He kept his face straight, but I could see the turmoil turning behind his dark teal eyes. They lowered his dark oak coffin into the grave carefully. His parents threw a hand full of dirt on the coffin, then his relatives and then Kellan and I did. "The Final Goodbye" I muttered under my breath. Kellan's hand tightened around my shoulder. I let a few tears escape in Lucas's view before I dug my face into Kellan's shoulder and began to sob deeply. He kissed my forehead and supported my body as I leant into his side.

On the ride back, Kellan dug around in his duffle bag, pulling out a small tape. He passed it to me and started the car. "He would have wanted it" he muttered, giving me a stern look. I looked down at the tape. Scribbled across the front was:

Lucas Burke: DEMO

Mix 1

I coughed and let a few stray tears flow and then pushed it into the tape player. Soft guitar notes filled the van. It was quick and repetitive. I instantly knew what song it was. It was _Hands Down_ by _Dashboard Confessions_. I loved this song too. Suddenly, a low husky voice flowed through the radio speakers. It was Lucas.

"_Breathe in for luck. Breathe in so deep. This air is blessed, you share with me. This night is wild, so calm and dull_" he sang, his voice so unbelievably sweet. I felt my lips move with the words, crying softly. Kellan sang to and turned up the volume and opened the windows wide. The cold air flushed out and warm heat raced in, laying on me like a dead weight. I smiled at Kellan's happy smile and red puffy eyes. My heart was breaking to the sound of his voice but that was okay, because it was like when you had broken your nose and the doctor needs to re-break it to straighten it up. My heart was re-breaking so it could be fixed properly. And at that moment, I felt an almost calm blissful hope, fill the air.


	3. Chapter 3

That was a summer ago. A whole two months has passed by, without Lucas. School starts tomorrow and I'm excited but a little daunted living out my senior year without his arm draped across my shoulders. Without his songs during lunch or him walking me to every class. My heart panged a little as I slung my backpack over my shoulder.

"It would be fine" I told myself. The heat was just as unbearable as it was on Lucas's funeral, warm and heavy. Outside was Kellan's van and he was leaning against it, smiling at me with a cigarette hanging out of his lopsided grin.

"Good morning, Sunshine" he said, giving me a small wink.

"Smoking's bad for you. By the way, when did you take it up exactly?" I asked him, elbowing his side. He dodged it and laughed.

"Relax, mother. It's not lit, see?" he said, pointing the white fresh side at me.

"I see and what's the point of that exactly?" I mused, cocking my eyebrow at him.

"To look cool, of course" he said sarcastically. I gave him a scowl look and he threw it on the ground and stepped it out.

"I just wanted to see your view on them is all" he said, opening the van door for me.

"You could have just asked" I said.

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" he asked me, with a sly look. He walked around and climbed in. The van creaked as he shut the door. He twisted the key and the van rumbled to life.

"Ready?" he asked me, suddenly serious.

"I suppose" I muttered, staring out of the window. He pulled out from the curb and headed for school. Kellan pointed at my shirt and jeans.

"Where's the dress you were gonna' where?" he asked me. A week before school, Kellan and I went to the small shopping strip in Hastings's Parish and he bought me a pale yellow summer dress which I promised I'd wear today.

"I forgot" I said. It was a lie, I didn't forget. I was just nervous about wearing it. I'm not prude; I'm just worried about how the boys would react. Kellan had the same idea in his head when he turned to me.

"If they come anywhere near you, I'll take them out" he said, smiling. He ran his thumb over his neck for effect. I laughed.

"Thanks".

Arizona Hastings's High was a bustle of kids. I climbed out and rolled my shoulders. Several people stared at me, some gave quick looks. A few guys by the tree elbowed each other and pointed at me. I felt a sturdy arm curl around my shoulder and everybody looked away.

"Thanks" I said again to Kellan.

"Like clockwork" he said, looking around him. We walked to the Performing Arts Centre. Inside the auditorium was at least 600 hundred students all calling each other's names or having loud conversations about their summers. Among the waves of people, flew one pale arm up from the crowd and waved at me in frenzy.

"Emily! Emily!" yelled a petit voice. I looked over several heads and caught a glimpse of dark brown hair.

"Jenna! Oh my god, get over here!" I shouted back at her. A thin, pale girl with the most striking aquamarine eyes ran towards me. I gave her a long hug.

"Hey you!" she shouted in my ear, over the roar of students. She led me along a row of chairs while Kellan went to sit by his friends. We chose our seats. Jenna turned to me and gave me a gentle stare.

"How are you?" she asked me. Jenna was careful not to say his name.

"Fine" I said, feeling my face set in a somber tone. There was a row of three large football defenders in front of me. Lewis, a short stocky red head. Kyle, a tall dark boy and Chase, who has liked me since the fourth grade. He turned to gape at me, giving me a toothy arrogant smile. The room quietened down, but Chase was still staring at me demanding my attention.

"So, Ems. Listen I'm real sorry about what happened-" I tuned the rest out. Chase was a slightly obnoxious boy with a large build, shaved stubble head and brown eyes with a chipped front tooth when he got into a fight with a kid from Arizona State. There was something distracting me. At the door way was a dark shadow, tall and confusing. I turned wanting to tell Jenna but her attention was there too and so was everybody else's. The shadow didn't move or make a sound. It was there then it moved into the assembly hall. Under the lights he stood. He was tall and broad shouldered but not over muscular. He was more of a lanky build. He looked up at the crowd of people and he didn't smile. Instead he gazed over us with a cold steady stare. His hypnotic periwinkle blue eyes seeing through us under dark brows. His skin was tanned and his hair was as a pale brown, almost ash. Finally Chase turned to glare at whatever was stealing my attention. I could see the look in his eyes that he found someone new to pick on.

"Well, look everyone! The Abercrombie model has arrived!"he hissed at the boy at the bottom of the stairs. Everybody erupted in laughter except me and Jenna. I looked down to see if Kellan was laughing. His face was somber and irritated. I was thankful and proud to have them as my friends.

"Why don't you put a rather large cork in that rather large ass of a mouth, Chase" said a deep growly voice. It was Steven, one of Kellan's friends. Chase and Steven never really got along, so I wasn't surprised that he said that. Unlike Kellan's dark pallor, hair and eyes, Steve was very pale, scrawny and yellowish blond with blue eyes.

"Why don't you come up here and say that again?" taunted Chase, his eyes burning hungrily for a fight.

"I would but I don't think I'd be able to break through your Ego Bubble" said Steven, making a circle with his fingers. Chase stood up, almost knocking Lewis over with his bulky shoulders.

"Then maybe I should come down there" he said, baring his teeth like an animal.

"My god" muttered Jenna at my side, rolling her eyes. The other boy put his hand up, giving Chase a glare that forced him to sit back down.

"I don't think there's any need for that" he said, his voice velvety smooth and cold. Although it was his own personal muse, it's seemed to be more of an order as Chase looked away, his cheeks turning a rosy pink. The boy looked up at me, giving me a bewildered, cool glance and then he went to sit next to Kellan, the only open seat in the whole auditorium. Jenna's hand clasped around my wrist and her mouth hanged open.

"Did you see that? He looked at you" she said, her eyes wide. I shrugged, acting nonchalant about the quick glance. I looked at the boy again, sitting next to Kellan. Jenna rambled on about him, how gorgeous he was, how smart he looked. I just nodded and added ummm and aah where they were needed.

The sun was sitting heavily on my body, while Jenna, Steven, Kellan and I were sitting outside on the steps outside of the auditorium. Jenna kept asking Kellan question after question about the boy.

"Leave him alone, Jenna. I thought you were dating me?" said Steven, jealously.

"I am, I'm just doing my research" she said, pecking him on the cheek. The sudden display of affection winded me a little and I turned away from the perfect picture. I stared up at the sun, feeling it beat down on me. _Where are you?_ I asked Lucas, hoping he could hear me, knowing that he couldn't.

"Where's your head at, Em?" asked Kellan, reminding me of the day of the crash.

"Nowhere and everywhere" I muttered. The bell rang, sounding for sixth period.

"Crap, I have trig, school is such a downer" said Steven, clamping his hand over is eyes.

"Speak for yourself, man. I've got gym!"Kellan said, smiling. I sighed, knowing that hell will be soon approaching. Jenna recognized my pained look and giggled.

"Relax, Emily. It's just Drama" she said, hooking our arms together and leading me up the stairs for our next subject. We walked into the auditorium and turned to the left down a hall and then walked into the last room in the corner. The walls were all red brick and the floor was old grey carpet. This room was the only room in the auditorium which wasn't renovated. We sat down on the carpet and waited for other people to show up. Jenna nudged me.

"Ready?" she asked me, an excited smile on her lips.

"How can you be ready for embarrassment?" I asked her.

"Don't be such a loser, why did you take drama then?" she asked me, looking at me from under her eyelashes.

"C.A.S! Why else would I sit through a whole hour of_ this_?" I asked her. At that moment, the new boy walked in, running his hand through his ashy brown hair, not giving us a single glance.

"There's a pretty good reason right there" whispered Jenna, nudging me in the side. I rolled my eyes at her. She gave me a quick wink and turned to the boy.

"Oh please no!" I hissed at her, recognizing the mischievous look in her eyes. She put her hand in my face and shushed me.

"Hey you!" she said to the boy. The boy turned to look at us, his periwinkle eyes curious.

"Yes?" he asked formally, his voice slipping through his lips like silk.

"What's your name, delicate?" asked Jenna, confidently. I was embarrassed for her at that moment. My cheeks turned a rosy pink, waiting for the boy to get angry or irritated. Instead he smirked, exposing a brilliant set of teeth and a nice smile.

"My name is Derik, you must be Jenna" he said, still smiling.

"Pleasure" she said, winking at him.

"How'd you know?" I asked him, my tone suspicious. Derik turned to me and stuttered a little, his eyes confused.

"Facebook, now stop being such a downer and introduce yourself" answered Jenna for him, his eyes turning grateful.

"I rather not" I said, realizing what an utter bitch I was being. I didn't care though.

"Sorry about her, I promise she doesn't PMS often" said Jenna, pointing at me. I gave her an icy look and crossed my arms over my chest like a three-year old.

Derik only nodded, giving me a careful look, like I was fragile in some way. After a few minutes the rest of the class filed in and so did Mr. Gilbert, our Drama teacher. The girls by the corner, all smiled and giggled at Derik, but he didn't notice them there. I felt a small pang of pity for him and something else. I finally realized what it was, jealousy. I'm not jealous; I couldn't care less of how he spends his time in class. I ignored him, only sending angry glances now and then. Jenna laughed at my uncomfortable posture.

"Jealousy's overrated, isn't it?" she whispered into my ear. I shot her a wryly look and concentrated on the lecture.

"Okay, guys. Let's just start with a warm up exercise" said Mr. Gilbert.

"Find a partner quickly so we can get started" he said. I wasn't worried about finding a partner, Jenna and I had promised each other if there's a group, we would be together. I smirked at the people cowering around, looking for a partner and the girls staring hungrily at Derik. I reached for Jenna's hand but only grabbed hard carpet. I turned to her spot, only to find it empty. I scowl appeared on my face, as I desperately looked around the room for her. She was in the corner, sitting next to Marie Higgins, a girl in our grade with a huge head of red fiery hair. I shot her a pleading confused look and she returned it with a mischievous smile.

"Oh god" I muttered.

"Excuse me, Girl- with- no –name" said a velvet voice. I looked up at a tall shadow leaning over me, steadily.

"Hi" I said in a small voice. He smirked. I stood up quickly, not as gracefully as I wanted though.

"Would you like to be my partner?" he asked me, his gaze cautious. I didn't smile when I answered.

"Fine"

The girls at the corner gave scornful looks as they formed themselves in pairs. Derik watched me, looking almost intrigued.

"What are you staring at?" I asked him, bitterly. He looked at me surprised.

"I'm sorry" he apologized, looking at his feet. We sat down, me a foot away from him. I didn't want to be mean, today must have been hard for him and I'm only making it worse. He stood up and asked me, I didn't have to do anything and I'm treating him badly.

"Emily- my name's Emily by the way" I stumbled over the words, wondering if I made my name clear enough. He nodded, giving me a small smile.

"I know. It's nice to meet you, Emily" he said my name with an interesting tone, almost thoughtful. I liked the way he said it.

"How do you know my name? And don't use the Facebook excuse because I'm more of a letter kind-of-girl" I said, cocking my eyebrow at him. He laughed bitterly.

"I've heard about you, around school" he looked up at me, from under his dark eyebrows, his periwinkle eyes burning.

"All good, I hope" I said sarcastically, entranced by them.

"I-" he began but I stopped him. I looked away from his hypnotizing eyes.

"Listen, if this is a pity grouping then you can forget it" I said, starting to stand up. "Wait, of course not" he said, grabbing onto my arm. I looked down at his casual touch. His hand was warm and smooth and a little lighter then my skin. His eyes had a look of desperation in it, but the cautiousness in them soon took over again.

"Please, I-I didn't mean anything by it" he said. I stood there for a few seconds, looking down at him with confused eyes.

"I know how you feel-" he began again. I ripped my arm from his hands and snapped.

"You have no idea how I feel!" I hissed through my teeth. I walked out of class then, not turning back for a second glance at his face. I slammed the door behind me, knowing that this was not looking good. I didn't know where to go. I didn't have a car to drive back and even if I did, I knew wouldn't go near the steering wheel. I looked around, a little dazed and trying to find an escape rope to pull out from this mess, this embarrassment.


	4. Chapter 4

I walked outside, feeling the heat thrown on me like a blanket and I walked to the parking lot. I found myself pressed against the van, trying to stay in the little shade it produced. After the bell rung for last period, I saw someone heading my way. Some of me was hoping it was Derik so I could apologize and the other half was hoping it was Kellan so I could just leave this place. It was neither. It was a stocky built boy with short hair and brown eyes.

"Chase?" I asked, shielding my eyes from the sun with my hand. He waved at me, smiling.

"Aren't you a rebel?" he asked me with a wink. I shrugged my hope fading.

"So, what are you skipping?" he asked me, leaning against the van with his shoulder touching mine.

"Bio, you?" I asked, squinting against the sun.

"Who gives? I rather spend last period with you" he said, nudging me. I laughed nervously. He took that as a positive sign and went on.

"So, what about me and you get out of here?" he asked, smiling at me with a playful look in his eyes.

"I can't, I have to get a ride back with Kellan. Thanks for the offer, maybe-" I tried to think of a better excuse but he suddenly turned to be in front of me.

"Hey, relax. I'll ask Lewis to tell Kellan where you are, babe" he said, giving me another wink. My heart began to pound and I felt nervous shrills run up my spine.

"Listen, Chase. I really can't-" I tried looking away but he grabbed my face in his rough hands.

"Come on, you like me, don't you?" he asked, his eyes boring into mine.

"I do, but not-" I began. He pressed his hard determined lips against mine, moving them like he was in a drunken stupor. I tried to push him away but he only forced himself more onto me. I could feel my hands being crushed in-between his hard stomach and my soft tummy.

"Let go!" I tried to yell, when I was able to pry his lips from mine. He held onto my shoulders tightly, making them feel like their bruising. I forced my knee up into his crotch and he let go in an instant. Chase was crouching down, looking at me with a scornful glare.

"Why, you little slut?!" he hissed and bolted for me. I cringed away from his hands that were twisted maniacally like claws. One of his hands clamped around my shoulders, the nails digging into my skin. I tried to scream, but his other hand shut around my mouth.

"Shut up, bitch! You're lucky I haven't knocked you out yet!" he jeered in my face, his eyes wild. I tried to fight against him but he had all his weight pressed onto me. At that moment I saw a fist hit Chase in the jaw, knocking his head back. Chase reeled backwards, holding onto his jaw with a stunned stare. A tall figure was standing next to me, his eyes running over me in concern.

"Are you alright?" he asked. It took me a while to configure his words and see the face behind the voice. _Derik._ Before I could answer, Chase tackled Derik to the ground. Derik pushed the large boy off and picked him up from the ground and set him on his feet. With one swift action, he punched Chase so hard; his body seemed to collapse on itself. I was surprised that someone so lean could take on Chase and still win. While Chase lied unconscious on the ground, Derik ran back to me, his eyes filled with nothing but concern.

"Are you alright?" he asked again. I nodded. My body was shaking and adrenaline was still pumping into my veins. I could feel myself crying, wishing I wasn't.

"Fine" I blubbered. He turned back to Chase, a bitter frown on his lips.

"He's going to wake up soon and be looking for you. I'll drive you home" he said it lightly, but there was no negotiating. I only nodded, trying to look at him; instead my eyes fell on his bloodied and bruised knuckles.

"Are those gonna' be okay?" I asked him, pointing to his hands. He looked down, unclenching and clenching his fists with a grimace.

"They'll be fine" he said. "Let's go"

I followed him to the other side of the parking lot, near the main building. There was only one car parked there, a black Passat, shiny and brand new. I gave out a low whistle. He laughed, opening the door for me. I gave him a weird look.

"What? Does nobody do that anymore?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow.

"Well, we're not in the 19th century anymore. But thanks" I said, climbing in. His face seemed amused in an inside joke. He walked around and climbed in. The car smelled new and leathery.

"When did you get it?" I asked him, running my hand over the dashboard.

"A few weeks ago" He said, starting the car. The car growled to life and he turned the aircon on. A smooth jazz song was playing on the stereo.

"CD?" I asked him. He smiled an apologizing smile.

"Yeah, I don't really have a certain type of music I like" he said.

"No, its fine. I just took you more for an Honorary Title- kind-of guy" I said, he smirked at my comment. He pointed to the compartment in front of my seat.

"There should be a CD of them in there somewhere" he said, putting on his seatbelt. I copied him, realizing how Lucas never wore a seatbelt when he drove. Derik leaned over me, reaching for the compartment. I went rigid as he got close. He opened it for me and grinned.

"Choose one"

"Thanks" I said, looking down at the CD's he had. He had two stacks of CDs shoved in there.

"Whoa" I whispered, and I heard him chuckle.

"That's nothing" he said, pulling out something from the backseat. A long black case with silver clips. I undid the clips and flipped it open.

"More CDs" I laughed, astonished. He nodded, smiling. I went through them, until I found the album I was looking for. I shoved the CD carefully into the receiver and heard the system make a whizzing sound. _Thin Layer _popped on the stereo and I turned the volume up.

"I love this album" I murmured. Derik nodded in silent agreement, tapping his finger to the beat.

"I think this is their best album" he said.

"Yeah, but that's only because it has the most songs" I retorted. "_Untouched and Intact_ would have been amazing if they had recorded _Stay Away_ sooner"

He gave me a sneering look. "_Stay Away_ was recorded two months earlier than that album" he scoffed.

"Yeah, but they never put it on the album" I snapped. He laughed bitterly, his eyes distant.

"You can't fool time" he muttered, looking out of the front window but not at the road. His eyes turned flat when he spoke.

"Where here"

I looked out of the window at a White Victorian house with a dark blue door. "How'd you know-" I began, but I stopped myself. "Thank you"

"Don't worry about it" he said, giving me a careful smile. I could feel a wall go up then, a strong one. Not from me though, from him. I stayed in the car for a few seconds, not knowing what to do.

"Well… I'll see you tomorrow" I said giving him a quick wave and climbing out of the car. I could feel my cheeks turning rosy as I walked up the path and back to reality.

"Emily!" I heard Derik call. I turned around quickly, a weird feeling of relief flooding through me. His eyes turned from confidence to uncertainty so quickly that I felt like I imagined it. I wanted to hear what he would have said.

"Yeah?" I encouraged.

"I- I don't have Facebook" he said, ashamed. Before I could say anything, he rolled up the window and drove off. I stared after him for a moment, not quite knowing what to do with myself.

"I never thought you did" I muttered and walked up the stony path to the front door. When I got inside, I could hear distant music drift from the kitchen and the smell of curry.

"Smells good!" I yelled into the house.

"Hi, honey!" yelled my mom. She walked out into the hall, wiping her hands on a green dishtowel.

"How was school?" she asked, her tone coloring with worry.

"Fine" I muttered, walking into the kitchen. She followed, looking at me.

"Why are you so early then?" she asked me.

"Oh, I got a ride with someone else" I said, feeling the edge of the lie I had told. She nodded.

"I didn't recognize the car, anyone new?" she asked, her voice careful. It was hard not to know a car in such a small town. I bit the inside of my lip, wondering whether or not I should lie or tell the truth.

"New person" I said, looking down at the black counter tops.

"Really, is she nice?" my mother asked. She called the person a "she" because she knew I wouldn't be with a boy yet, anywhere near one. I felt very guilty after that. I wondered if I should've waited for Kellan to get me. I shouldn't be near a new boy yet, it's wrong. How could I do this to Lucas? I felt like stabbing my hand with a pen. My mother recognized the silent debate I was having.

"Or he?" she said, but I could hear the disappointment in her tone.

"No, it was a girl" I lied. Unlike the first lie, this could have blurred the lines but this was a straight out lie. She nodded.

"I don't know of a new family with a daughter. Only a boy" she said, cocking her eyebrow at me. Crap I thought. She has me cornered. I damned this small town to the fiery pits of hell for being so small.

"Fine, his name is Derik and he only gave me a ride because Kellan's car broke down" I said, lying again. It was like a terminal illness and I was really suffering from it. She nodded. She opened her mouth but at that moment the phone rang on the receiver. I jumped for it, feeling the guilty adrenaline filling my veins from telling the lies.

"Hello?" I said into the receiver, a little breathless.

"Hey, where the hell are you?" said Kellan on the other side, his voice anxious.

"Yeah, I made it home. Derik drove fast" I said loudly so my mother could hear me.

"What are you on about? Are you okay? I came to the car and there was Chase rolling on the ground. He looks terrible" said Kellan, getting into his interrogation voice.

"Yeah, so how's the van?" I said, looking to see if my mother was still listening. She was, and hands were on her hips.

"Oh, your mom's there, isn't she? Okay, I'll come over then" he said.

"So you can't come with your van anymore?" I asked him, but he could hear what I really meant.

"Fine, I'll get a ride with Steven and leave the van at school. See you later" he said and hanged up.

"Okay, bye" I said into the receiver, acting like we were still speaking.

"He was checking if I got home" I said, to her. She stared at me for another moment and then continued with the cooking. I walked quickly upstairs until I was practically running into my room. I shut the door behind me and leaned against it for a few seconds. I took a long breathe and went to sit on my bed. I took off my shoes and rolled my shoulders, feeling they wine where Chase squeezed them. _What am I doing?_ I thought.


	5. Chapter 5

When Kellan came over a few minutes later with a look of pure anger written across his face, I knew that he had found out. "I'm going to kill him" he murmured when I gave him a hug. His body was rigid and shaking with anger.

"Kellan, leave him alone. Let's not make a bigger deal out of it then it already is" I said.

Kellan gave me a withered look of disbelief. "You can't be serious if you think I'm going to let him walk out unscathed" he muttered.

This was a whole new side to Kellan that was rarely breeched. This Kellan was violent, angry and disturbed, but mostly, no longer my Kellan. This part of him has been exaggerated ever since _he_ died. Was he really just angry at himself? Or was he angry at Luke for leaving? I found myself looking worriedly at his edgy face. His jaw clenched and unclenched nervously.

"Are you alright?" I asked him, cocking my eyebrow, recognizing the slow turmoil that was turning behind his dark teal eyes. He shrugged lightly and ignored my question. After a long pause, Kellan opened his mouth.

"What were you doing outside anyway?" he asked. I explained what had set me off; he nodded not looking at my face.

"Derik is strange but he'd never do that" muttered Kellan defensively.

"What? Is he like your bestest chum now?" I said with a little too much sarcasm. Kellan shook his head slowly, as if saying 'no' to each word.

"I don't like the look of him, he's too... I dunno' different I guess. I must sound like a naive jerk but still. I just don't trust him" he explained vaguely.

I wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that Derik was polite and kind and respectable but I held my tongue, worried that it will work against me if I said anything. Instead I nodded.

"I guess I should thank him for going to this much trouble. Still don't know how a thin kid like him could take on Chase" he said, sceptical. "Must've been a hell of a fight"

"It wasn't much of a fight actually" I said, looking at my hands.

"Whoa" he mouthed. "So who are you going to get a ride with tomorrow?" he asked me.

I shrugged. "Probably with Madison" Another long pause past between us until Kellan stood up and lumbered over to sit next to me on the bed.

"How was today for you?" he asked, giving me one of his levelled stares.

"I got a few looks, a few people apologized but other than that nothing interesting" I said, hollowly. "You?"

He stared out of the window. "Less than you actually. I may have been his best friend but you were his..." he paused; clicking is tongue to his teeth. "Never mind"

I turned to look at him but his face was hard and defensive so I left it there. After a while he stood up and walked to my door. He looked over his shoulder at me.

"Could you next time just stay in class please? For my car's sake" he joked, giving me a wry smile. I chuckled and nodded. He opened the door and left. I heard the front door bang close, wondering how he was going to get home. Then I heard a car pull away. Was Steven waiting there this whole time? I wondered. Suddenly my phone rang scaring me out of my chain of thought. I shuffled to it and picked up.

"Hello?" I muttered into the receiver.

"Hey, hey Miss. Black-belt! Saw the train wreck in front of Kellan's car. I have a quick question for you" rambled Jenna. "Why in Mother of Pearl am I supposed to call you when something like this happens? I'm your best friend, I'm supposed to know first and get a two week notice before you do anything strange like beat a poor boy to pulp" she rambled on.

"Okay, deep breaths" I pushed in through her sentences. She quietened down, but I could hear the tapping foot making its way through the receiver. "First of all, you may retract the claws-" I heard her huff. "- and second of all I didn't beat up anyone and thrice of all I'm sorry" I said it slowly but sternly.

"Apology accepted. Please explain what had happened and why my boyfriend was at your house" she said, curiously.

"First of all, let me tell you what a wonderful boy you have there and the explanations you'll hear tomorrow while you're driving me to school" I said.

"Driving you to school? Did I get demoted from best friend to chauffeur now?" she whined into the receiver.

"'Course not, you got promoted! You're still my best friend but this time wearing a nice cap and aviators" I joked.

"Fine fine, as long as I can pick the cap. You do realize you'll have to start driving eventually?" she said it, a rare tone of worry in her voice. I didn't answer. I heard her sigh on the other end. "I'll pick you up at 8" she said.

We said our distant goodbyes and I returned the phone on its stilt. I felt reluctant to telling her of what happened. Even though she was my best friend, I didn't feel comfortable telling her or thinking of what could of happened if Derik hadn't come along. My stomach turned uneasily. That evening, we had a quiet dinner. My parents were busily keeping themself distracted with the extensions of our house to mind my withdrawal.

As I pushed my green salad around my plate, too nervous to eat I felt a cool breeze run up my spine. It scared me and my head jolted upwards. My parents hadn't noticed the movement and were still bustling around the plans. I turned to see if the windows behind me were open but they weren't. I frowned, wondering if it was just a shiver of nerves. It felt like cold fingertips running up my back. After dinner, I took a cold shower because of the humid air upstairs. I wouldn't fall easily asleep tonight. As I lied in my bed, memories of nostalgia filled my head. This had happened before, on a very warm night in the summer, a year back. The thought was branded deep into my memory because I remember Lucas laying next me, blissfully asleep and humming rather than snoring. I had perched myself on the edge of the bed, trying to grasp at the only cold linen because Luke had been so warm. That was the night we had given everything to each other. That was also the night I had decided that I will spend the rest of my life with him. I followed the delirious chain of thought I had that night, deciding how I was going to tell him that. I fell asleep to the quiet rhythm of his humming, slowly rocking me to sleep. Now I was without him, in an empty bed. How will I fall asleep now? A tear rolled down my cheek followed by a stream of them. I fell asleep somehow because I woke up around 4 am in the next morning. Without trying to wrestle with the thought of falling asleep again, I stood up warily, feeling the heat cling to me exposed legs. My hair clung to my back and my sleeping shirt was damp of sweat. I decided to take a shower. When the cold water raced down me, I relaxed a little, feeling my eye-lids droop. I rolled my shoulders and got out after washing my hair. I looked in the mirror and started to comb out the tangles in my wavy hair.

After six, I had grown deathly tired of my surroundings and got dressed for school. Instead of dreading the car ride with Madison, I contemplated the idea of walking the 12 mile walk to school. I decided against it, in this heat I'd have a heart attack. I sat in the dining room with my backpack packed, breakfast eaten and ready for school. What else is there to be done? I asked myself. I've never been that big on cleaning or cooking, so vacuuming or cooking breakfast for my parents weren't an option.

I decided to walk to Hastings's Parish Graveyard. It had been a good two weeks since I visited _him_. My stomach rumbled guiltily. I've taken way too long to visit Luke. I had to get there quick, and this time walking was not an option. I had to drive. I hated the thought of being in a car, behind a steering wheel. The feeling of responsibility for myself and others that were either on the road or in the car. I should have been more responsible that day. I should have seen the truck coming. I know that the other driver was drunk; I know that he had swerved onto our side of the road. I knew all those things but I still didn't take the guilt away. I should have turned off the road or swerved away but all I did was freeze into place, when I saw the headlights all I did was stop like a deer, a stupid deer. My fist banged against the dining table. I was too angry to recognize how much it hurt. I stood up from the chair, grabbed the keys of my car from the spot it always hung before the accident and walked quickly to the car. Outside wasn't much cooler than inside, and I could feel a fresh batch of sweat break out on my forehead, from the fear of driving and from the heat. The sun was already strung high in the sky, forcing its heat down on me.

When I got inside my white corolla, I started to tense up. What if I forgot how to drive? I opened the door out of fear, wanting to jump out. I calmed myself.

"What are you doing, Emily?" I murmured to myself. I closed the door again and put the key in the ignition. I turned it, feeling the car rumble alive loudly. It took me by surprise and I felt my neck tense and my eyes closed.

"Shhh" I muttered at the car. I took a few deep breathes and rolled my neck. "You can do this. You can do this. You're one of the best drivers in your family, you can do this" I repeated again and again. When I believed myself enough, I put the car in reverse, pressed the button for the garage door to open –cursing at how loud it was- and reversed out slowly, feeling my breathing catching up.

When I was a few kilometres from the house, I breathed a sigh of relief, noticing how many cars were off the road. When I saw the meek hill with white graves sprouting from it, I knew I had arrived and I felt proud of myself. I felt nervous too, I hated being in graveyards, alone. I opened the door and got out slowly. Looking around, there were no other cars parked here and when I scanned the graveyard, I couldn't see anyone. My last hopes for people were gone. As I walked through the wrought iron gate, I felt the air cool around me and a light breeze flow through my auburn hair. The grass was unnaturally green here, unlike the rest of Hastings's Parish. The cool sensation and the greenery were enough reason to make me shiver. It was a stupid reason of course, but under these conditions, wouldn't you look for anything strange as well? I walked on, liking the slow rhythmic sound of my steps on the rocky gravel. Just under the hill, it cast a large shadow across his grave, cooling the air even more. Luke's grave was a modest white headstone with two bouquets of lilies and roses. There was also a football and a very small toy guitar placed around the flowers. The headstone said:

Luke Sebastian Rowland

Beloved son, brother and love.

12th Feb 1990- 23rd May 2009

I laughed at how formal it was. _He_ would have hated it. I remembered what Kellan said before _his _funeral. "_He_ would have hated this. He didn't want a funeral. _He'd_ rather have us drive through Hastings's Parish with his mix tape booming". Now I looked down at _his_ grave, not knowing what to say. I thought for a bit, wondering if I should go all cheesy but _he_ would have hated that too. Just talk, I thought to myself. Have a normal conversation like _he's_ still here. But _he_ wasn't and I couldn't. I took a deep breath and steadied myself.

"Hi Luke, I know it's been kind of long since I've visited... how's your halo?" I stood there for a while, waiting for an answer. How stupid of me. I sat down in front of him, my legs felt a little weak.

"I just realized how difficult it was to please you. I've been standing here so long, thinking of what I could possibly say. It can't sound too formal or too cheesy" I rambled on, feeling myself smile. "God, thinking about it now, I'm happy you weren't alive during your own funeral, you would've kept wanting to leave with the chicken wing plate and a bottle of champagne" I chuckled. After a long pause, I sighed.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked him, my smile fading into a hard line. "I needed you, I-I wanted you, and you... left" I said, feeling my throat tighten. "Didn't you need me? I mean you were there and then you weren't" I waited for a sign that he was listening. Spilling your insides is never easy when someone isn't listening. I felt tears start to roll down my cheeks. I cradled my head in my hands, hiding my tears.

"I'm so sorry, god, I am! I sh-should've seen him, but why? Why did you have to save me?" I whimpered. "You could be alive! You're such an idiot! Everybody kn-knows that the hero dies!" I found myself hissing at the grave and hitting the green grassy turf with my fist. I swallowed my tears and wiped them from my face.

"God, I miss you. Every time I see blond boy in the street my heart speeds up just for a second... and I feel that hope that maybe, just maybe you're alive..." I murmured. "And I begin to dream. Dream of how I'd run up to you and hold you, to have you near while I sleep"

"But then I wake up... and realize that it's just a stranger, and instead of a dream... i-it's a nightmare" I found myself crying again, so I wiped away the tears, viciously. I turned to look at the sun, looming over the hill. I realized that there was a dark silhouette on the hill, under a large maple tree. I stood up slowly, feeling a familiarity from the silhouette. _Do I know you?_ I thought. I started up the hill, feeling the strain in my legs, as the hill got steeper.

But once I reached the top, I could no longer see a figure, the maple tree stood alone. I almost turned around, but I noticed a grave resting under the tree.

"Hello there" I muttered at it, like it was a puppy or something. Unlike the other graves, this one was entirely made of grey marble. I inspected it more closely, noticing the fresh flowers leaning against it. It said:

Blake Graham Mitchells

March 2nd 1864 – September 20th 1883

Loved by many, missed by all

I realized with sadness that Luke and Blake Mitchells were both 19 when they died. I couldn't believe that people die so young. I also couldn't believe that someone still visits a grave from the 19th century. He must have been missed by all. I checked my watch.

"Crap" I muttered, running down the hill. I was going to be late for school. When I past Luke's grave, I blew a kiss in its direction. When I reached my car, I could see a Black sedan pull away onto the highway. I wondered who was in that car; I couldn't see what type of car it was or its numberplate. I felt the weird familiarity feeling again. I climbed in and drove slowly to school, even if I was late. When I finally arrived, I chose a parking under a small lemon tree for shelter against the sun. I opened my door, noticing that people were still arriving. I grabbed my bag from the backseat and walked to a sandy coloured van. Kellan was still there with Jenna. When they spotted me, I could see the anger.

"Where the hell were you? I waited in front of your house for a friggin' hour!" bum-rushed Jenna. I put up my hands in surrender.

"Sorry, I had an errand" I muttered.

"So you drove?" asked Kellan, his hand at the nape of his neck.

"Yeah, I did"

"Good for you, Em. See, it wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked me rhetorically, draping his arm around my shoulders. I shook my head and slung my back pack around one shoulder.

"I will miss our rides to school though" he said with a frown.

"Well, my mom still thinks your car is on the frisks so I'll give you ride for dramatic affect" I joked.

"Be careful of what you promise, I might take you up on that offer" he said, smiling.

"Okay, okay. As much as I love the happy reunion, let's focus on me waiting for an hour in front of your house with a cap and aviators on" said Jenna.

"You actually wore them? You do realize I was joking, right?" I asked, incredulously.

"I wanted to surprise you" she said, in her best puppy dog pose. I gave her a one-armed hug.

"You're such a loser" I muttered at her, chuckling. "Since when are you so crabby?"

"She always gets like this when Steven isn't around" commented Kellan.

"Where is Steven, by the way?"I asked, cocking an eyebrow at Jenna.

"At the hospital" she muttered. "Gramps had a heart-attack" she frowned.

"Oh god, how's Steven taking it?" I asked. Kellan shot her a warning glance, and Jenna stayed quiet.

"Ok, I saw that. What's going on?" I asked them firmly.

"Kellan just doesn't want to surround you with more deaths. Though, Archie is still alive" she hissed at Kellan.

"The doctors' said there isn't a lot they can do for him" he retorted. That reminded me of what my mother told me when we were in the hospital, _that _night.

"Can they ever do anything?" I asked, seeing their eyes widen. Before they could answer, I walked towards the school. When I reached my locker, I took a few deep breathes. I hadn't seen Chase here today either. I wondered if the principle had even noticed what had happened. I grabbed my books and walked down the hall to English. I saw a familiar face shutting his locker as well. I almost ran to him. I'm such a loser, I thought.

"Hey" I said to Derik. He was wearing a black t-shirt and pale blue shorts. He dug his hands into his pockets, nonchalantly and gave me a careful smile.

"Hello" he murmured his voice like velvet. I found my heart beating loudly in my chest. I ran my hand through my hair and steadied myself.

"I just wanted-" I began. He put a hand up, cutting me off.

"It's fine. Girl's like you usually need rescuing" he said it with a surprising amount of nonchalant.

"Hey! I didn't your help that much, I was close to kicking his-" I tried to retort.

"Yeah, well I need to get to class, good bye" he cut me off again with a smirk on his lips. I wanted to drive my fist deep into his face. I stared angrily after him, seeing the girls turn their heads almost 360° to look at him.

How sad, to think I was like that a few seconds ago I thought with disgust. I walked angrily to English, with a frown. Inside the class a fan buzzed along, blowing warm air around the room. Mr. Liard, a tall and skinny greying man was handing out a worksheet to everyone. When he looked up and saw me, a mocking grin appeared on his face.

"Well, it's nice for you to finally grace us with your presence, your majesty. Will you take your thrown or do you need some of these peasants to help you upon it" he said, he always talked like this. Sarcastic and formal. He was one of my favourite teachers.

"Oh no, Mr. Liard. I do not, but when my high horse gets here I will need some assistance" I joked back. The class giggled at our little rant.

"As you wish Ms. Thompson, but please, climb off your high horse before I push you off it" he retorted with a cocked eyebrow. I laughed and sat in my seat.

"Now class, before we were so rudely disrupted-" he said, with a play scowl in my direction. "- we will be watching_ Much Ado about Nothing_ the Movie"

Carey, a tall bottle-blond girl in front of me, stuck up her hand. "But why, Mr. L? Why don't we just like read the book or something?" she said in a high pitch voice. Her accent was Californian but her tan was obviously from Heather & Clive's Spray Tan Emporium down Baker Street.

"Well, Carey. Your generation are far to adjusted to watching a TV then picking up a play book. Some people blame the teachers but I personally blame the OC" said Mr. Liard. Some people laughed, others retorted remarks of how the OC was the best show ever. Carey shut her mouth, obviously not wanting to start a fight in the English language because 'like' wasn't a verb. Mr. Liard spun a television in front of us and placed the disc into the DVD player.

"Now, people! Really focus on the characters; this is a comedy so laugh even if you don't know what the joke is about. It makes you look smart" he rambled on, turning up the volume. The movie was boring, but I could see the difference in characters. It was obvious that _Benedick _and _Beatrice_ were very alike. How was it possible that they could hate each other the way they did? When the bell rang, the movie was half way done. We pushed our way through the door to get to the next class.

"Goodness, children. Don't look so reluctant to leave" muttered Mr. Liard sarcastically.

I breathed a sigh of relief when the last bell had rung. I absolutely hated physics, the mere utter of the word gave me the heebie-jeebies. As I walked to my locker, I saw Derik leave his class. I planned on passing him, head high and cold shoulder freezing. But then he turned and saw me and gave me a gentle smile, his eyes distant and careful. My shoulder thawed and my head dropped to hide my reddening cheeks. But before I could get close I retained my former composure and was able to pass him confidently, barely. I could feel him stare after me as I past him but I didn't turn back to make sure, I just kept walking.


	6. Chapter 6

The parking lot wasn't busy; I was one of the earlier students. I climbed into my car and started it. I reversed out, checking my mirror. When a new black sedan stopped behind me, my foot slammed onto the breaks with surprise. "Shit!" I hissed. I rolled down my window and stuck my head out.

"Hey, Moron! What-" I began but my tongue got caught in my throat. The car looked familiar; I just couldn't remember where I saw it. It drove passed, not noticing my blank stare. I sighed and rested my head on the steering wheel. That was way too close, I thought. I fell back in my seat and relaxed. "You can do this. You can do this. You're one of the best drivers in your family, you can do this" I repeated again. I reversed again, taking a double take of the parking lot and my mirrors. When I was finally out a sharp relief filled through me. I turned out of the parking lot and drove home more scared then I was before.

Home wasn't much better. I didn't have homework to distract me so I went to watch some television. The family room's walls were a cream yellowish colour and the sofas were white with dark blue paisley pattern. There was nothing on so I got up and took a drive in my car. Somehow, I ended up in front of Kellan's place. It was an old double-storey country house, made entirely of red bricks and a big maroon door. The door opened and Kellan was standing in the threshold, a hand shielding his eyes from the sun.

"Hey!" he called to me with a wave. He walked over to the car, a large smile stretching across his face.

"Hi, Kel. Sorry for intruding like this. I just didn't have anything better to do and I kind of ended up here" I rambled on.

"No problem, I was just going to go see Steven at the Hospital, give me a ride?"

"Yeah, sure. Is he still there?" I asked, worriedly. I wondered if maybe we should call Jenna.

"Yes, he should still be there" said Kellan, getting into the car.

I reversed out of the Donaldson's drive way, carefully. Once we were at the end of his street, I breathed out in relief. Kellan looked at me then, with an expectant smile across his face.

"You did well, Em" he said. I turned to him and smiled.

"Thanks"

We drove on the highway for ten minutes before seeing Hastings's Parish Graveyard loom over us. Neither of us could help but stare at it. Kellan turned to stereo on and an old fifty's song popped up. He grunted and flipped to another station. A familiar jazz number flowed through the speakers and I recognized it from the day I drove in Derik's car. Before Kellan could change it, I reached for the volume dial and turned it up. Kellan gave me an incredulous look but said nothing. The song was soft and rhythmic; I decided that I liked it. We turned into the parking lot of a large white building. _Saint Peter's Hospital _was its name. It was a fairly small hospital, not like the massive hulking one, me and Luke were rushed to in to between Tucson and Phoenix. I stopped near the entrance and we walked inside.

When the glass doors separated, cool wind cut through the hot Arizona air and it felt nice on my exposed arms and legs. We asked for Steven at the help desk. The nurse on duty pointed down the hall. Her eyes were tough and she had a sneer on her mouth. We walked down the hall slowly, checking each room. I got a glimpse of a yellowish blond head and I stopped. Kellan saw it too and was now heading for the door. He went in first and I followed. Steven was sitting in a chair, craddeling his head in his hands. I thought he was asleep before he looked up. His face was whiter than usual and he had dark lines carved under his bright blue eyes. He didn't smile when he saw us; he only gave a little wave. The "mother" in me walked to him quickly and rapped its arms around his shoulders. I could see the surprise on Kellan's face and I felt the surprise on my face as well. Steven didn't care though, he wrapped one frail pale arm around me waist and pulled me in so he could rest his chin on my head. I forgot how tall he was. His blond dishevelled hair wasn't as long anymore, the curls were short and frizzy now. Kellan didn't quite know where to fit into this sad puzzle so he chose a seat next to Steven's. I was practically sitting on poor Steven's lap. If Georgia was about to walk in, she would throw a fit. I gave a little inside laugh at the thought but kept my face sombre on the outside.

"I'm sorry, Steve" said Kellan.

"It's okay; it's not that we weren't prepared. He is 84, but it happened so quickly" Steven's voice was only a whisper for his usual loud excitable voice. I sighed in sadness, looking at the old frail man. He had a kind face.

"Oh, poor Archie" I muttered, reaching for his hand. I looked to Steven to see if it was okay and he nodded. His hand –to my surprise- was warm and soft. I nearly jumped from Steven's lap when the old man's eyes started to flicker open. His eyes opened fully and turned to mine.

"Well, flip me down and call me Shirley! Who's this little flower?" he said in a coarse voice. I could feel Steven laugh quietly.

"This is Emily, grand daddy" said Steven; his voice was soft but happy. The old man scrambled up, wincing at the tug of all the tubes running from him.

"Damn these stupid wires, I can hardly move" he whined. I couldn't help but smile. He rested against his pillows and took my hand in both of his hands.

"Hi there, Emily. You must be Jenna's friend"

I nodded, surprised that he knew me.

"She talks about you, well she actually talks a lot but I know she's mentioned your name a few times" he joked. "Lovely girl, I'm happy my grandson wasn't a complete moron and found himself a nice gal"

We laughed. He was such a sweet old man. His eyes were blue, the same blue as Steven's. His eyes were still young, not matching his body.

"Well, well Girly. You must be Kellan's gal" he said with a smile. I near choked on my breath, but before I could say _no, _Kellan's stupidity took over.

"Of course she is" said Kellan, giving me a desperate look.

"I am?" I asked, with a cocked eyebrow. Kellan nodded slightly. "I am!" I said. Archie laughed and patted my hand.

"You keep this one, Kellan" he scowled at him. I smiled at Kellan and winked at him.

"Yeah, Kellan. I am quite the catch" I said, flipping my hair. Steven was on the edge of bursting into laughter and Kellan shot me a sheer look.

"Well Arch, I just don't think I can handle a girl with such high maintenance" he said, throwing a thumb in my direction.

"High maintenance?" I exclaimed, glaring at Kellan.

"You know, with all the hair and nail appointments and let's not forget the bathing rituals" he said with a devilish smile. "And the baggage she has. You have to see her soft toy collection" he said to Archie.

"Well, at least it's smaller than your Star Wars collection" I said.

"I got rid of that in the third grade" he retorted quickly, his cheeks reddening. By that time, Steven was chocking on his laughter. Archie gave us a weary glance and smiled.

"I'm surprised this relationship has lasted so long" he commented.

"I know" I muttered under my breath and Kellan glared at me. We talked for a while; Archie mostly spoke of Steven's grandma.

"I lost her kind of early, you know? Just after Steven's dad was born, she died from eternal bleeding said the doctors" Archie said with a slight bitterness. "I raised Peter the best I could, but some things a kid needs from his mother"

I could feel my throat tighten, forcing back the tears. I breathed out quickly and blinked them away. We said good bye to Archie just before six a clock. Kellan shook his hand and I kissed him on the cheek. My head was spinning in the car so I asked Kellan to drive.

"Can you remember what I was wearing on our first date, honey?" I said, sarcastically when he pulled out of the car park. Kellan chuckled lightly and glanced at me from the corner of his eyes.

"Okay, okay. I panicked, he always wanted me to get a nice girl" he said, staring past the windscreen into the horizon. His thoughts were somewhere else, I could tell.

"Why didn't you?" I asked, turning the radio down.

"There aren't that many girls and plus I haven't really found a girl that liked me" he mumbled.

"Liar! Pretty much every girl at our school is bugging to get you and we have like 500 girls in our school"

He shook his head, his eyes still distant.

"No, not that many" he said, stubbornly. I fell back in my seat and sighed, incredulous that he would be that picky. I thought about what he said for a second and looked at him from the corner of my eye for a while. He was wearing a white collared shirt with rolled up sleeves, a waist coat, long khaki shorts and vans. It dawned on me that I didn't know any other guys that dressed like that, and he does like contact-sport. My eyes widened and I could feel my mouth fall open. I turned to him completely then and he stared at me with questioning eyes.

"What?" he asked me.

"Kellan, you are my friend, right?" I asked him, seriously.

"Yeah, of course" he said, looking at me with a cocked eyebrow.

"Then you know I accept you in shape or form?" I added on.

"I suppose so. Seriously Emily, what's going on?"

"You don't have to act anymore, I know you're gay" I announced, with pride. The response I was expecting was him starting to cry and saying I was right. This was not the response I received.

Kellan stopped the car and it jerked me forward. His eyes were blazing and he looked like he was about to blow. We were on the side of the highway, red sand stretching away from us on either side of the road.

"What?" he asked me, quietly.

"Gay" I said, eyes wide with surprise. The way his face turned from anger to utter annoyance urged me on that maybe I was wrong.

"Gay? How the hell did you get to that?" he exclaimed. Before I could explain he opened the door and climbed out without a single glance back at me. I sat in car, staring after him in surprise. I got angry very quickly and climbed out as well, slamming the car door. He twirled around and glared at me.

"Excuse me, but what else could it be?" I asked him. "I mean come on! You hardly talk to any other girls accept me and Georgia and the only reason you talk to Georgia is because she's Steven's girlfriend!" I shouted at him. Cars were zooming past us but it didn't take our attention.

"Oh my god! You cannot be serious!" he shouted into the sky. "Is that all you're basing this on?" he asked me, incredulous look in his eyes.

"No! The way you dress and the fact that you play football!" I yelled at him.

"I play football because I like it as a game! And I use to live in the city, so of course I dress better than the usual guy in this friggin' Parish!" he retorted. I stood there, trying to grasp onto another reason why he could be gay.

"Then why haven't you had a girlfriend?" I asked him.

"I did have one" he hissed back.

"Bull, sixth grade does not count!" I exclaimed. He stared at me, breathlessly and a deep tiredness filled his eyes.

"Forget it" he said, walking back to the car.

"No, get back here! I won't drop this" I jeered and grabbed his shoulder. He turned around to face me and I took a step back.

"How dense are you, Emily? Huh?" he shouted in my face. "Isn't it obvious enough? Or are you really that oblivious?" his voice cracked on the end.

"You really have some kind of nerve! I am not dense! I think you've been hit too many times over the head with a football!" I yelled at him. He threw his hands into the air and turned back to the car. Kellan climbed in and started the car. I didn't move from where I was standing.

"Get in the car, Emily!" he ordered me.

"No! I don't think there's enough space for me and your ego in there!" I sneered back at him and started to walk in the direction of the graveyard.

"You're not going to walk, Emily! Just get in" he said, driving next to me as I walked.

"No!" I shouted at the window.

"Fine, then I'll walk and you'll drive!" he exclaimed. He stopped and climbed out, leaving my car in the middle of the street.

"You idiot, that can cause an accident!" I screamed at him, running to the driver's side.

"You'd be an expert on that" he said, his voice harsh. His word-like daggers hit me in my chest and I felt a little winded, staring up at him with wide eyes. He sighed and looked at me sincerely.

"Emily, I didn't-" he began.

"Fuck you" I said and sped forward, leaving him. I saw his figure turn into a dot as I left him behind. I could feel angry tears bubbling over my eyes and down my cheeks. I turned off the road before I saw the graveyard and drove through the suburbs instead. When I finally reached my house, I felt guilt start to bite at me. I want to go back but I can't forget what he said, I just can't. I parked the car outside the house and trudged inside. When I came in, my mother was going up the narrow stairs.

"Hello, Dear...what's wrong?" she asked me, worry colouring her tone. I waved her away and said something untellable so she would leave me. I went downstairs noticing that they had already eaten dinner. Could no one wait for me? I forced my plate angrily into the reluctant microwave and punched in the time. I ate without tasting my food tonight, the nagging guilt eating at the food rather than at me was a nice break. I took a long shower and went to sleep easily to my surprise. It scared me a little that I could sleep with the guilt though.


	7. Chapter 7

The whole week whizzed by and I was still angry with Kellan and he still seemed angry with me. Steven came to school on Wednesday but didn't come back when his grandfather fell into coma. I had plans with Georgia this Saturday and I wasn't going to let Kellan spoil it for me. But that irksome guilt was still there, becoming more intense if I didn't feed it with anger. I also had a new revelation, plaguing me like a disease. What had I not understood from Kellan? What was I so oblivious to understand?

Saturday, I drove warily to Georgia's house. I had always loved Georgia's place. It was almost as eccentric as she was. Her dad was a divorced architect, the best kind, Georgia once told me. He followed into every little whim Georgia had but she never misused that power, until they built the house. The house's walls were purple and orange on the outside, while the living room's walls were made of glass. Georgia's room was basically a crime against home design. Her one wall was hot pink and her other wall was pitch black and covered with photos and magazine cuttings. She had a four-poster bed that was as furry as a shag carpet and had pillows of any size covering every inch of the bed. She had a bean bag and small television in one corner and a wardrobe and bookcase with no books on the other corner of the room. She filled the bookcase with paraphernalia that I couldn't recognize and some things I couldn't even speak of.

When I knocked on the purple door of this amazing monstrosity, her father answered with an absent minded smile. I had decided on the first day I slept over at her house in the 6th grade that her dad was handsome.

"Hey, Emily! Georgia's in the kitchen making some sort of inedible food" he joked, letting her inside. Georgia had his curly dark hair, aquamarine eyes and pale skin. His face was just a lot sharper.

"She's not going to make me eat it, is she?" I asked him.

"Well she did feed a little to Betty. Word to the wise, Betty hasn't gotten up in a very long time" he said with a playful smile. I laughed and walked to the kitchen. Betty was Georgia's pug, a funny little dog that was above her weight limit.

In the modern and beautiful kitchen –the only bit, her father designed without Georgia- she stood, leaning over a pot of boiling... something.

"Hey Georgia! What are you cooking?" I asked, sniffing at the pot.

"Tomato Soup... I think" she said, looking into the pot. I cocked an eyebrow at her and we both fell into laughter.

"Okay, I think it's time to clean this up" I said, turning off the pot. While she poured what seemed litres of soup down the sink, I cleaned the utensils that had tomato soup plastered to them. When we finally reached her room, I was ready to fall asleep.

"Hey, get up! We haven't even watched a movie yet" she said, when I collapsed on the bed. I sighed and perched myself on my elbows so I could see her.

"I don't really feel like a movie" I said, feeling the guilt gnaw at me.

"I knew something was off about you this afternoon. First I thought it was your perfume but there's something definitely there" she said, smiling maniacally at her perfume joke. I threw one of her hundred pillows at her and turned onto my side.

"Does this have anything to do with Kellan ignoring our phone calls?" she asked, knowing already that it was. I guessed Steven picked him up on the highway after the incident.

"What could he of possibly said to make you that angry?" she joked.

"That I am a pro at accidents" I said, without feeling. I got feel her glance at me and the smile disappeared from her voice.

"He's an idiot and you shouldn't listen to idiots, trust me! Have you not seen our house?" she said, joking on her expense. I laughed and sat up. She was watching me, worriedly.

"What happened exactly?" she asked me, sitting on the bed. I explained everything that was said and done, watching her face turn from laughter to worry and then to suspicion.

"So you have no idea what he could of possibly meant?" she asked me.

"No, not at all" I said, truthfully.

"You might not be dense but god, Emily you are oblivious" she said with a mocking smile.

"What do you mean?" I snapped.

"I mean that you can't see that this boy is total fairytale, Bonnie and Clyde, head over heels for you!" she exclaimed in my face. My body froze and my eyes widened. I shook away the feeling that it may be true and shrugged.

"Yeah right, Georgia. I think the soup fumes funked up your brain" I said, feeling the guilt turn into something else. It turned into fear, fear that maybe he did love me.

"You know it's true, I mean come on! He's been after you, since he moved to this town. He is totally in love with you" she said. I ignored what she said and shook my head.

"Impossible, just impossible" I muttered. She grabbed my shoulders and looked up at me.

"Emily, you need to fix this. From the look on your face I'm guessing you don't want this but you can't keep stringing him on like a poor kitty with yarn" she said. I looked away from her face and at the floor. Her analogies were starting to get a little out of hand.

"I don't believe this! He went for that long without saying anything, even when I was dating Lucas! How the hell is this my fault?" I asked.

Georgia looked right through me then.

"Georgia, are you alright?" I asked, waving my hand in front of her face. She snapped back, looking at me, puzzled.

"He couldn't tell you when you were dating Lucas" she said in a hollow voice. "That would have ruined everything"

I cocked an eyebrow at her. "You're not making any sense, George" I said. She glanced at me and waved the subject away.

"Let's not focus on this" she muttered and got up to put a DVD in her player. I stared at her, watching her mechanical motions and her face turn sullen like she remembered something she didn't want to know.

"Georgia?"

"What?"

"Are you okay?" she looked at me then, her eyes wary. She didn't answer the question; she picked up the remote and played the movie.

"This is a scary one. Grab one of my pillows, you'll need it" she warned.

The movie was scary; I remember screaming at least once. The other times fell into habit every time someone in the movie disappeared. I can't remember the name but it was about a group of people that go camping in the woods while a bunch of ravenous zombie like mutant things are hunting them down. The movie had made Georgia nauseas and I spent the night holding her hair while she threw up. When I finally got the chance to sleep, I was wide awake. My eyes wouldn't close, my body wouldn't relax and I kept shifting around.

I kept wondering if what Georgia said was true. I don't like to think of myself as oblivious but it seemed to me that I am. How could Kellan love me? We had been friends for a long time but I never felt that from him. He must have swallowed his feeling a lot for me not to have noticed. Georgia knew more, she just wouldn't tell me what.

"Georgia, are you awake?" I whispered into the dead of night.

"How could I be asleep with you thinking so loudly?" she asked. Her voice was drowsy and low.

"What are you not telling me?" I asked her. I could hear her sigh.

"Nothing, just go to sleep" she said, turning on her side.

"Georgia?" I whined.

"Emily, you gotta' talk to Kellan" she said. I turned on my side and tried to fall asleep. Instead I stayed awake listening to Georgia breathing deeply as she slept. She also spoke in her sleep. At one point or another she had a whole entire conversation with me.

"Is siple sep prah, ust forge" she mumbled.

"Huh?" I asked, not aware that she was talking in her sleep.

"It's a simple step, Oprah. It's about the colours" she said. I held my mouth, about to crack up laughing.

"The colours? For what?" I asked her in between giggles.

"For your house, keep it colourful" she muttered. I laughed then and she said something like "You think this is funny?"

When I heard _Hot and Cold by Katie Perry _I knew Georgia's phone was ringing. I stood up and stumbled to the phone.

"Hello?" I mumbled into the cell.

"Emily?" said a voice. It was Steven and he sounded terrible.

"Yeah, are you okay?" I asked him.

"I'm okay. I haven't slept in a while" he mumbled. "I'm sorry for calling so early, is Georgia there?" he asked me.

"Yeah, but she's asleep. Do you want me to wake her?" I asked, walking to the window. There dark heavy clouds in the sky, for the first time and months.

"No, it's okay" he said.

"No, its fine! She should be getting up anyway" I walked to Georgia and tapped her face with my foot. She shuffled and opened her eyes.

"What?" she asked me. I handed her the phone and sat next to her. She sat up and put the phone at her ear, running her hand through her hair.

"Yeah?" she half-spoke half-yawned into the receiver.

"You should go home, babe. Get some sleep, take a shower. I can smell you through the phone" she said. I listened to the one-sided conversation.

"What? Again?" she asked, her expression changed from dazed to confusion. "Sure you aren't just seeing things in your tired daze?"

Steven said something and she cocked her eyebrow.

"Oh, Creeper" she muttered. "Okay, bye babe"

"What was that all about?" I asked her. She shrugged and lied down again.

"Something about seeing Derik at the hospital again" she mumbled into her pillow.

"What? Why's he there?" I asked. I could see her shoulders shrug again and decided not to pry anymore.

I got up again, feeling the tiredness from last night finally fall over me like a wave. It was going to rain, I could tell. I hoped for a long time, it gave me a reason to stay off the roads and at home for the rest of the weekend. I felt a little arm wrap around my waist.

"Gothic, isn't it?" said Georgia dramatically.

"It's perfect" I said, ignoring the puzzling look she gave me.

We had a quick breakfast, which seemed to be doused in silence except for the quiet pitter-patter of rain. I looked outside at the sheeting rain, feeling a quiet calmness inside of me. The things Georgia said last night still ate at me, more uncomfortable as ever. I didn't want to see Kellan; I wouldn't be able to look him in the eye. Not because I was stubborn, but because I was embarrassed about what happened. I had judged him so ferociously that I couldn't see pasted my own blind judgement to see what was really going on.

As I drove through the rain as carefully as I could, I was happy to get away from the usual intense heat of Arizona. It was strange to have a summer shower that lasted this long though. I sighed, hoping that it would rain hard enough for school to be cancelled tomorrow; maybe the school might find it too dangerous for students to be ankle-deep in water while coming to school. We are from Arizona after all, the only experience we've had with that much water was when we watched 'The Poseidon' in free-period. This would give me some time to figure out what to say to Kellan, if anything. I'll probably just chicken out and avoid him at all costs. The idea seemed more and more tantalizing by the second. I sighed pulling over onto the curb. I rested my head against the steering wheel and made a split decision.

I drove to the cemetery. No, I wasn't looking for a smidgen of dramatic irony; I was looking for something to do. The sheeting rain was just an added bonus. I grabbed the umbrella from the backseat and emerged bravely from my car. As naive as this may sound, I honestly believed the rain would have melted away my sun skin. I jumped away from each and every puddle and drop of water. I almost thought I had escaped this embarrassment when a voice rang through the rain.

"You know, only witches melt"

I looked up to see Derek moving towards me, with his hood on. He was drenched to the bone. He huddled under my umbrella and smiled.

"Oh, good. Now if it had been bitches, then we would have had a problem" I said at my own expense.

"Now, what could you have possibly done?" he asked, his ashy hair dripping.

"I just stuffed something up" I said. He nodded, taking in my words.

"Worrying about it doesn't make you a bitch, Emily" said Derek. For a second, I was taken in by his eyes, losing train of thought completely.

"Uhh, w-what are you doing here?" I stuttered along. He paused at my question, his eyes darkening.

"Visiting somebody I once knew" he answered vaguely. "I don't have to ask to know why you're here"

"Oh really?" I cocked my eyebrow.

"Of course, you're here for me" he answered with a wink. I smiled and poked him in the ribs.

"You wish"

He watched me for a bit and then sighed.

"Do you want me to wait for you or should I be on my way?" he asked.

"You better be on your way" I said, feeling another wall being put up. He nodded, letting nothing pass his nonchalant facade.

"See you around, Emily" he said and walked towards the other side of the parking lot.

"Wait!" I called after him. He spun around and looked at me cautiously.

"Do you have anybody in the hospital?" I asked him. He teetered from one foot to another looking at the rain.

"No" he answered. "Why?"

"Because, I thought I saw you there the other day is all" I lied.

"You must've been mistaken" he replied quickly and turned around before I could go on. I saw him drive off in a black sedan and then it hit me, hard. That was the car I saw the other day at the cemetery and the one I nearly hit when I was reversing at school. Had it been Derek all along? Why was he visiting the boy so frequently? None of it made any sense. He had said he was visiting somebody he once knew. That didn't make much sense either, unless he was born in the 19 century. That and he isn't even from here, how would he know somebody here.

I was plagued by all these questions, adding onto the problems with Kellan. This was all I needed for my senior year, to get distracted and fail exams. When I woke up Monday morning, I felt nervous about seeing Kellan, I knew I couldn't avoid seeing him; I had too many classes with him to even think that. I wasn't about to skip either though. My journalistic career was riding on each day.

When I found a parking space, I parked and climbed out as quickly as possible, keeping my eyes out for Kellan. I saw his sandy van on the other side but he wasn't standing near it. Relieved, I walked into the building with more confidence. I had English first, which started the day off more easily, Kellan wasn't in this class. We went over _Much Ado about Nothing_ again, finishing the movie off as well. After class, Mr. Liard asked me to stay behind. When everyone had left, I walked to his desk. He looked up at me and smiled warmly.

"You know, Emily, you're one of my best students and I'm proud of you" he began, looking down at his papers in embarrassment.

"Thank you, Mr. Liard" I replied.

"That's why I was hoping that you wouldn't mind tutoring some kids who are having trouble in class" he said.

"Me? You really think I can tutor?" I asked sceptically.

"Yes, I hope you can at least try"

"That's fine, as long as I don't have to teach-" I began.

"Don't worry, putting you with Carey would be child abuse" he said, with a sarcastic smile. I laughed and shook his hand.

"Then it's a deal" I said.

"Good, you'll be teaching Derik" he said nonchalantly while I almost choked on my breath.

"D-Derik?" I repeated.

"Yeah, you know him?" Mr. Liard asked, not looking up.

"Yeah" was all I could say.

"Good, you'll be tutoring him, now get before you're late for class"

I walked out of his room in a daze. I never knew that Derik had trouble in English. He seemed literate enough. I banished the questions to the back of my mind and headed for Math. I stole a seat next to Georgia, her eyes looking wearily at me.

"Have you talked to Kellan yet?" she asked.

"No, haven't seen him today" I said. She tapped her pencil on the desk while the teacher was handing out a worksheet. When she got hers, she grimaced.

"Well, Math! My old rival, we meet again" she said. I laughed and cocked an eyebrow at her.

"You should be an actress" I said.

"Nonsense, I'm far too busy with my intense self-evaluation to bother on evaluating other characters" she said sarcastically.

"Like I said, you should be an actress"

We talked about her future career as an actress while receiving blazing glares from Mrs. Sullivan, our math teacher.

"I wouldn't mind having Derik for a co-star/ romantic interest you know? Have you seen him act in Drama? He's fantastic" she said.

"Aren't you dating Steven?" I asked.

"Yeah, but we're talking strictly on-screen chemistry. Off-screen is you and Derik" she said.

"Yeah right" I pushed through nervous laughter.

"Emily, being your best friend entitles me to know when you're lying and when you're telling the truth" she said.

"Oh really? So this morning when I said I liked your shirt?" I asked.

"Truth, who wouldn't like it?" she said, looking down at the giant black bow on the white t-shirt. I swallowed my laughter and focused on algebra.

"And when you talk about Derek, you're voice goes all high and squeaky" she said, biting her lip while smiling.

"My voice is just like that" I said.

"Yeah, but more than the usual uncomfortable squeakiness, it's more like running nails through a chalkboard" she said. I glared at her and she giggled.

"I don't know him" I said. "And now Mr. Laird has got me tutoring him"

"Its destiny!" she said, a little too loudly.

"Destiny doesn't exist" I said, with a smile.

"Then fate, perhaps?" she said.

"Nope" I murmured.

"Then some other outwardly force that was acting upon you two" she said. "Kind of like physics"

"You're failing physics" I said.

"Well, you're failing math" she said, grabbing one of my tests out from the book. She tapped her finger on the bright red 'D' on the front page.

"One slight slip up" I muttered, grabbing the test from her. Mrs. Sullivan walked past, practically throwing our latest marked test at my face. Jenna grabbed the test before I could and checked my grade.

"Another one of these and that slight slip up will turn into a shot gun marriage and you ending up in a trailer park, teaching your spawn the alphabet" she said, pointing on the latest red 'D' on the page with a smirk. I grabbed it from her paws and shoved it into my binder. The bell rang and I stood up quickly, grabbing my things.

"What do we have now?" I asked her.

"I have Government, you probably have history" she said. I froze.

"History?" I muttered.

"Yeah" she said, not noticing my posture. I had history with Kellan. I walked there almost in a nervous days, feeling the cold sweat on my brow. I mustn't have looked any better than I felt because Derek stopped me at the door.

"Are you okay, Emily?" he asked, holding onto my shoulder. I got pulled in my his light blue eyes and stared at him for a while, feeling a slow calm wash over me.

"Fine" I muttered. I pulled myself back and went inside. I tried to keep my eyes on the floor but my eyes still caught his. Kellan looked at me, his eyes sad. I went to sit at my seat, trying to focus on history but I felt his eyes on me. I looked at him and he smiled apologetically. My heart began to beat uncomfortably. I was afraid now, knowing how he felt. I wouldn't know what to do when he actually told me. My stomach rumbled and I felt uneasy. Bile rose in my mouth, I tried to swallow it but it wouldn't stay down. I didn't feel good at all. I could feel a head turn to me as Mr. Humphrey's lecture went on.

"Mr. Humphrey! I think there's something wrong with Emily" said a voice from the corner. It was Derek's. Mr. Humphrey looked at me through his thick glasses while I cursed Derek's name.

"I'm-" I began but then the bile rose again and I vomited.


End file.
